This morning I woke up to a battle. It was a battle raging in my heart and mind. It was truth vs. fear. I spent a good part of my morning waging war against living in fear. Our oldest son went to San Franscisco for the day. I was sending him with someone I trust completely. I was sending him to have a wonderful day. He was so happy to be going, but my mind was struggling to trust him. What if he wandered off? What if he looked over the Golden Gate too far and fell in? What if he didn't get off the cable car when everyone else did? What if...?
In my what ifs, the assumption is that when he is with me, I have control over all these situations. Why do I trust that everything will go right when he is with me? Why do I think that I can care for him better than someone else? Do I think that I have control over things? No. In reality, I have no power over other people. I have no power to stop someone from falling or being lost.
I have to trust. I have to trust God. I have to trust that He is watching over my kids. I have to trust that even if something terrible happened, that God would still be faithful and be there for me and my kids. That God is in control in the good times and the bad times. I also have to learn to trust my kids. Our oldest is growing up. He is maturing and becoming more responsible. I have to let him make mistakes and also let him do well on his own. It is part of growing up for both of us. But I am proud of myself. I fought through it today. I have been peaceful and not been filled with fear and worry. I have rested in the arms of my God knowing He is watching over me and my child.
No comments:
Post a Comment