A Day of Thankfulness

There are times when I have felt so strongly the grace of God in my life. When Zach was two and a half, he wandered away from our campsite by a river. We each thought the other person had him. We found him a few sites down playing in the dirt, not floating in the river. Grace. Last month, Luke stopped running when I screamed stop, as a car that was backing out, almost hit him. Grace. The other day Josh got a hold of some marbles and put them in his mouth. Grace.

Today, we woke to the news of a terrible of the earthquake in Chile, where my sister lives. I have now found that she is fine, but her apartment is no longer safe to live in or go into. Grace.

We did not deserve to have our family to go unscathed in these instances. Grace. We live in a constant state of grace. Some days I can see it a bit easier. There are some days when the only prayer that I can pray is "Thank you God." There are no other words. Do you think He grows tired of hearing that? Do I ever grow tired of hearing those words from my kids? No. Never.

Thank you God. Thank you for giving us another day with each other. Thank you for the breath that I have in me today. Thank you for sending Jesus so that we have no fear of death. Thank you God.

Being Real

I attend MOPS. It is a group of ladies that are all going through the same thing. We all are mothers of preschoolers. On the Thursdays that I have MOPS I get up early and fix my hair and put on makeup and make sure that my outfit is cute. I am sure that the rest of the mommies are doing the same thing. The funny thing is that on the rest of the days of the week, I am putting my hair up, wearing sweats and my goal for the day is to get a shower. So when I arrive at MOPS all looking mommy chic, do the other moms see the real me? Do they see the mom that needs an extra set of hands? The mom that can barely find the time to shower let alone put on makeup? The mom that really needs someone to listen as I voice the fears of raising 3 boys and wanting them to grow up but not grow up too soon. Do they see the mom that really needs a friend to come along side me and say "You are doing a good job. Keep it up." What they see is a lady that looks good on the outside. She looks the part of a supermom. I have to let them into the crazy that I sometimes am. I have to reveal that I don't have it all together and that I sometimes feel like cashing in my mom badge. I have to take off my supermom mask and show them my real self. If I don't show them, will they ever show me their hurts and struggles? And if we don't, can we gain anything from knowing each other?

Maybe you don't attend MOPS, but perhaps at church or work or with your family you have a mask that you wear, I challenge us all to take one step and let our masks fall. To be real with each other. For only when we are real and honest, can we really gain from our relationships with each other.

P.S.- And when someone takes a chance and is real, put down your cell phone, stop what you are doing and look them in the eye and listen to their words and also their heart. For they are giving you the chance to meet the real them. And you may only get this one chance.

A Word from God

I have often heard people say that they had a word from God. They flipped open their bible and it was directly for them. I used to think, "Isn't all scripture for them? Can't they glean some insight for their lives from any passage of scripture?" But it happened to me last week.

I was fuming mad at my husband. He had disappointed me again. I had put my expectations on him without telling him of my needs. I had expected him to read my thoughts and interpret my body language without saying the words and he had failed. And I was miserable. I knew it was my fault for the frustation. I closed the door and in my despair opened my bible to hopefully find some kind of scripture that would heal my heart. I flipped open to pg. 526 which started me off in the middle of Psalm 146 which is exactly what I needed to read. The middle of verse 2 is the first line on the page and where I started. It says, "I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save."

I had forgotten that I was to sing to God as long as I lived. I had been so wrapped up in my mommy world, taking care of kids and house and me, that I had forgotten to put my hope in God. I had been putting my trust and needs on my husband to make me happy. I had put my trust in my husband who is a prince to me. He cares for me and wants all good things for me, but he cannot save me. He cannot give me the joy and fulfillment that I need and desire. That can come from God alone. And God is faithful to meet all my needs. He knows my fears and my desires. He knows my dreams and my deepest emotions. The chapter went on to tell me that God gives hope and is faithful and meets the needs of his people and gives freedom and lifts them up and loves them and watches over them.

God knew that I would need this chapter. He knew when it was written that I would look to it and find Him. I am comforted knowing that I can open my bible and hear from God. I am sure that there are many other passages that I could have read that day and gotten something from them, but the one that I read seemed to fit my need perfectly. I choose to believe that God directed me there. He knew that I needed it.

Time to Write

So I woke up early to write this morning. I thought I would have time to myself for just a few minutes. As soon as I opened our door, I heard movement in the kids room. I tried to sneak downstairs, but the light from my computer must have been too bright, they caught me. So I have been writing for two minutes and have sent two kids back to bed and made both of them cry. Yes, they still need to sleep so we don't cry at everything. The kid radar is working today. How do they know? They know when I am awake, they know when I have just fallen asleep, they know when I close the door to the bathroom, and they know when I have put milk on my cereal. (I can't stand soggy cereal, so when I put the milk on I have a two minute window of time to eat it.)

Anyhow,

The other day I was putting the kids to bed, we had sung the songs and said our prayers and I was telling them how smart and sweet and wonderful they were and how much I loved them, when I heard, "Mom, guess what I learned in science class?", I said "What?" Zach said, "Penguin moms feed their babies by throwing up. They eat the food and then they throw up and the babies eat the throw up. The nutrients are in the throw up. And they eat the throw up." I didn't really know what to say. I didn't know if he was telling me that because I had said he was smart or because I take care of him or because I was getting to mushy with the bedtime stuff or because dinner wasn't that good and his tummy hurt, but I answered with "That's so gross" to which he said, "No mom, that's so cool." I don't think I have a little boy anymore, he is growing up. He is into gross stuff. He is a boy. He is growing up so fast.

Speaking of fast, it is time to start breakfast and lunch for school. There are two boys up with me now. Time to start the day.

Me Time

I want to make the commitment to write everyday if only for 5 minutes. I made this decision two weeks ago and as you can see from this blog, I am not doing well at it. I have three things that I would like to do everyday. Excercise, write, and read my bible. I can seem to fit in one a day but never all three. As I write this the vultures (my hungry kids) are swarming so I know I will have to end. I exercised today so the writing is getting the ax. As I type Luke is crying next to me so goodbye for today. See you tomorrow (Hopefully).

Can you Scratch My Bottom?

What? I know that you can't believe I just wrote that. I could hardly believe the words were coming out of my sons mouth and directed at me. Luke asked me today, "Mom, Can you scratch my bottom?" I, as the always kind and compassionate mom who wants to help her kids whenever I can, said "No!" Sometimes you have to say to say no. I am working on that.

Snuggled Up

I am sitting here watching the movie that I loved as a kid. It was my favorite. I don't know how many times we rented it from the corner video store. As I sit here with my cup of coffee snuggled in my bed, I am overwhelmed with a sense of comfort. There is comfort in the known. Since I know the dialogue word for word, I have no doubt of the outcome of this movie. I know the girl will long to be loved and the boy will come along and dance with her and she will feel loved and they will live happily ever after. Sometimes when the world around me is crazy and full of the unknown, I need the known. God, be my known. In the crazy of this world, be my comfort, keep me snuggled in the crook of your arm. Let me find my peace and joy knowing that you are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.