Me Time

I want to make the commitment to write everyday if only for 5 minutes. I made this decision two weeks ago and as you can see from this blog, I am not doing well at it. I have three things that I would like to do everyday. Excercise, write, and read my bible. I can seem to fit in one a day but never all three. As I write this the vultures (my hungry kids) are swarming so I know I will have to end. I exercised today so the writing is getting the ax. As I type Luke is crying next to me so goodbye for today. See you tomorrow (Hopefully).

Can you Scratch My Bottom?

What? I know that you can't believe I just wrote that. I could hardly believe the words were coming out of my sons mouth and directed at me. Luke asked me today, "Mom, Can you scratch my bottom?" I, as the always kind and compassionate mom who wants to help her kids whenever I can, said "No!" Sometimes you have to say to say no. I am working on that.

Snuggled Up

I am sitting here watching the movie that I loved as a kid. It was my favorite. I don't know how many times we rented it from the corner video store. As I sit here with my cup of coffee snuggled in my bed, I am overwhelmed with a sense of comfort. There is comfort in the known. Since I know the dialogue word for word, I have no doubt of the outcome of this movie. I know the girl will long to be loved and the boy will come along and dance with her and she will feel loved and they will live happily ever after. Sometimes when the world around me is crazy and full of the unknown, I need the known. God, be my known. In the crazy of this world, be my comfort, keep me snuggled in the crook of your arm. Let me find my peace and joy knowing that you are the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

Can you Pause this?

Yesterday, my husband was reading a book to our three year old. Luke looked up at Nathan and said "Daddy, can you pause this I need a snack?" I laughed so much. Kids manage to bring a smile to our faces when we need it the most. I am so thankful for the joy and fun that our kids bring to our lives. They make me laugh and smile daily. These are the times to remember when I feel at the end of my patience. I write this down now, so that I can look back and remember it when I feel crazy. So I can remember the fun.

Sick and Tired

My three year old is sick. He started running a fever yesterday. Unfortunately we had a party to go to last night so he had to stay home. It is so hard for me to leave my kids when they are sick. They seem so helpless and that is exactly how I feel. I want to take their pain and sadness away. I would gladly take it myself if they would be better. I think this is part of being a mom. It is part of letting them go. Not letting him go as far as not being with him, but releasing him to God because he is God's, not mine. Today I can sit and hold him and comfort him and watch what he is eating and drinking. Someday I may have to sit and watch him go through something harder and worse. I may be at a place where all I can do for him is pray. I will have to lift him up to his Heavenly Father and know that God is bigger than the problem that he is facing or the pain that he is in. So today I will practice praying for him through his pain and suffering. "God, Luke is your child. You love him more than I do. Heal his little body. Make him well. Help me to love him through the whining and complaining and demanding times. God, Help him to grow up to love you more than anything else. Cause his faith in you to grow. Amen."

Camping... There's no place like home.

This last weekend, we went camping. I don't go camping for the fun of it, I only go camping for my kids. To see them out having sword fights with sticks and running around with dirt smeared across their faces. I love to see them using their imaginations and sometimes I have to get them away from computers and the tv and video games in order to see that. But as we were out in nature, I decided that camping was good for one thing. It makes me thankful for the home that I live in. Cooking in nature makes me grateful for the four burner stove and full size fridge in my kitchen. Waking up in the middle of the night with my baby makes me thankful for the crib that keeps him asleep all night long. Having to hike through the dirt and wait in line to go to the bathroom makes my bathroom at home seem like a resort spa. People laughed when they heard that we only went camping for one night, But it is all that I can do. Next year, I will have forgotten the dirt and rocks and inconvience of this year's trip and we will do it all again. Maybe we will even make it two nights. But I have no doubt that I will come home again, thankful for the blessings of a house to live in. God, be with those who don't have a home to live in. Keep them warm and safe. Help me to be generous in giving to them.

Being Selfish

I have had a bad attitude the last few days. I have to be honest. It is totally just me being selfish. It all comes down to Poor Amy. My focus has been on me and not on anyone else. I am tired. I never get to sleep in. I have to change all the dirty diapers. I, I, I. No one is caring about me. No one is helping me. No one is doing things for me. Me, Me, Me. This is not true, but I can't see the truth. I can only see me. God, help me to take the focus off of me and put it on you. Help me to see the things I do for those around me as things I do for you. God, help me to find joy in changing diapers and getting up early with the kids. Turn my focus around so that those around me can see you instead of me.