There haven't been many blog posts lately. I haven't been feeling very motherly or poetic or full of wisdom to share. I am feeling so bogged down by stuff. I had this vision of myself as a mother. I would fasten my Super Mom cape around my neck and soar through life with my kids. I would create such a learning environment for them that all of life would be a classroom and they would excel in school. I would latch my pearls around my neck and kiss my husband and welcome to a clean house with the aroma of dinner inviting him in. I would have long talks with my friends and know their lives as well as I know my own. But this is not where I am right now. Instead of supermom, my kids have frazzled mom. I don't feel like I can fly because I have so much that is dragging me down. The little things, the big things, issues with the kids, cost of living going up and the amount in the bank going down, annoying things my husband does, heavy burdens that my friends are bearing, mom guilt for not being more than I am right now. They all have built up to this moment. This time where I am trying to have a few moments of peace in my chaotic world.
So what can I do? What can I learn from this time in the bog? Here's what I am working on today.
1. God is with me right now. He is sitting beside me wanting to take my heavy load and carry it for me.
2. God is in control. One of my favorite songs says, "This is not how we planned it, when we started this journey, but this is where we are, and Our God is in control". This is not what I would have envisioned for my life, this moment, this time, but God is in control. He is still the focus and I need to be where he wants me to be.
3. I won't let the small things alter my focus. I will not get sucked into a place where the small things, the problems with my kids, the spilling of water, the screaming of "MOM" all through the day, the socks left out of the laundry basket, the toothpaste smeared across the counter get to me. I will not let them define me. I will clean them up and I will work with my kids, but I will not let them take my focus off of God. I am his child. I am his daughter so the cape that I wear, may not be a superhero cape, but it is the cape of a princess. I wear royal colors even in the swampy bog.
This doesn't change all that is swirling around me. It doesn't change my kids, it doesn't change my husband, it doesn't change our finances, but it does change me. For today, for this moment, I am at peace where I am. I am strengthened. I am resting in Christ. I am his.
